What I Believe about Kindness | By February Grace
Every day, we open our eyes and often the first sound we hear is a report of something sad, or heartbreaking. The world we live in is far less kind than many of us would have it, though there is a subtle movement gaining speed, and I want so very much to be a part of it.
That movement is toward kindness, away from sarcasm, coldness, or so-called "snark".
There was a time when “snark”, or as I prefer to call it, “meanness”, crept into my being in ways I didn’t even realize. It was before my diagnosis with Bipolar disorder, before I went blind and then was fortunate enough to regain some use of my vision through six trying surgeries.
It was before a lot of things. Before my grandmother’s death. Before my father's cancer.
When I was younger, in more of a hurry to do everything quickly, and sometimes mistook snarkiness for wit or intelligence. Snark has been portrayed for years as the hip or cool way to be, and for a time I guess I fell into the trap of believing it.
In the years that have since passed, I have learned how wrong I was.
The late Dr. Randy Pausch said, “I'll take an earnest person over a hip person every day, because hip is short-term, earnest is long term.”
Food for thought.
Being kind, being earnest in our pursuit of kindness, is vital if we are going to change the world’s perspective that kindness betrays weakness while coldness and sarcasm show strength.
Making the choice, every single day, to be as kind as you can be to as many people as you encounter takes great strength.
It’s the easy way out to say something cutting when we’re met with harsh words or actions; when we’re met with rude people in line at the grocery store or are forced to wait as someone with a disability moves more slowly ahead of us than we might like at the airport.
Being on the receiving end of kindness more times than I can count, especially from strangers and at times when I needed it the most desperately but didn’t want to ask (being that I AM the disabled person at the airport who moves more slowly than most people behind me would like…) I can tell you from experience how important and even life-changing random acts of kindness really are.
I am grateful to the man who helped me get my bag onto the conveyer belt at TSA when I suddenly lacked the strength to lift it on my own.
I am grateful to those who reminded the flight attendants that I needed my crutch back, which had been stored in a closet for flight, before I could deplane.
I am grateful for every door held open, every time someone paused and said “Here, you go ahead,” when I was struggling to keep my forward momentum going; I am so grateful.
Those kindnesses and many more small acts of caring than I can relate here have instilled in me a deep desire to be kind myself, and a true understanding that being kind is always the courageous choice.
It takes only seconds to cut someone to the heart with a remark we might feel is justified for whatever reason. It takes longer to pause and reframe our thinking; giving the other person the benefit of our empathy… considering what they might be going through that we have no knowledge of.
Isn’t it better to err on the side of compassion and kindness when we are frustrated or annoyed? What harm can kindness possibly do? Think of the benefit to the other person if we take a moment and treat them with compassion. Most of all, kindness benefits us individually because it makes us better people. And better people can build a better world, together, if only they keep trying and don’t give up.
That’s what I believe about kindness.
I hope that maybe someday you’ll find you believe it, too.
-----
February Grace is an idealist by temperament, and hopes to live someday in a world where kindness is the rule, not the exception.
That movement is toward kindness, away from sarcasm, coldness, or so-called "snark".
There was a time when “snark”, or as I prefer to call it, “meanness”, crept into my being in ways I didn’t even realize. It was before my diagnosis with Bipolar disorder, before I went blind and then was fortunate enough to regain some use of my vision through six trying surgeries.
It was before a lot of things. Before my grandmother’s death. Before my father's cancer.
When I was younger, in more of a hurry to do everything quickly, and sometimes mistook snarkiness for wit or intelligence. Snark has been portrayed for years as the hip or cool way to be, and for a time I guess I fell into the trap of believing it.
In the years that have since passed, I have learned how wrong I was.
The late Dr. Randy Pausch said, “I'll take an earnest person over a hip person every day, because hip is short-term, earnest is long term.”
Food for thought.
Being kind, being earnest in our pursuit of kindness, is vital if we are going to change the world’s perspective that kindness betrays weakness while coldness and sarcasm show strength.
Making the choice, every single day, to be as kind as you can be to as many people as you encounter takes great strength.
It’s the easy way out to say something cutting when we’re met with harsh words or actions; when we’re met with rude people in line at the grocery store or are forced to wait as someone with a disability moves more slowly ahead of us than we might like at the airport.
Being on the receiving end of kindness more times than I can count, especially from strangers and at times when I needed it the most desperately but didn’t want to ask (being that I AM the disabled person at the airport who moves more slowly than most people behind me would like…) I can tell you from experience how important and even life-changing random acts of kindness really are.
I am grateful to the man who helped me get my bag onto the conveyer belt at TSA when I suddenly lacked the strength to lift it on my own.
I am grateful to those who reminded the flight attendants that I needed my crutch back, which had been stored in a closet for flight, before I could deplane.
I am grateful for every door held open, every time someone paused and said “Here, you go ahead,” when I was struggling to keep my forward momentum going; I am so grateful.
Those kindnesses and many more small acts of caring than I can relate here have instilled in me a deep desire to be kind myself, and a true understanding that being kind is always the courageous choice.
It takes only seconds to cut someone to the heart with a remark we might feel is justified for whatever reason. It takes longer to pause and reframe our thinking; giving the other person the benefit of our empathy… considering what they might be going through that we have no knowledge of.
Isn’t it better to err on the side of compassion and kindness when we are frustrated or annoyed? What harm can kindness possibly do? Think of the benefit to the other person if we take a moment and treat them with compassion. Most of all, kindness benefits us individually because it makes us better people. And better people can build a better world, together, if only they keep trying and don’t give up.
That’s what I believe about kindness.
I hope that maybe someday you’ll find you believe it, too.
-----
February Grace is an idealist by temperament, and hopes to live someday in a world where kindness is the rule, not the exception.
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